Rolling With The Punches: 1st Principles Resilience

This week, a Mind Map Nation member expressed his frustration regarding the painful health challenges have hindered him from accomplishing his 2-Week Sprint goals. In response, I shared my approach in dealing with the upheaval of my own plans due to Olivia’s father’s cancer diagnosis.

Below is my reply, and in the second section, I share the principles that help me navigate these challenging situations, and how they are woven together to foster resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity.

My Reply

“I have something to share as well. Last Tuesday we got news that Olivia’s dad got diagnosed with terminal cancer and that we could only have a few weeks left with him. That threw everything that I had planned to the wind. I had initially planned another intensive life sprint to start right after returning from Coachella and to continue working hard towards all the projects that I had started in the previous sprint.

Everything has changed now. The first few days I was still struggling to maintain the same level of productivity as before, but it always felt like I had a thick blanket of depression over me and I could never finish everything that I had set out to do. Then this past Saturday, I finally came to terms with reality that I needed to build in a 30% buffer into every day just to account emotionally, mentally and practically for uncertainty and change, because that's the phase of life I have been thrown into now.

I also took the day to grieve...for my father in law, for what Olivia and her family will face, and for the lost opportunities and possibilities that I had anticipated and planned for. I immersed myself in these "negative" emotions of sadness and frustration knowing that they will certainly be processed and eventually pass.

After I finished grieving, I found that I could let go of not only those original hopes and plans, but the pain of losing them. After I had "emptied" myself, I could replace the new space with new mindsets, expectations, and plans that serve me better than the old ones. In other words, I was no longer a slave to my past self, and could instead choose a new path that suited my current circumstances better.

So in some ways, I encourage you to do the same. In order to let go of our past selves, we must first acknowledge, feel, and honor our prior hopes and dreams. It won't be pleasant and it will be sad or we might even get angry. That's okay. Because emotions and feelings ALWAYS change. That's the law of nature. Sit with those emotions for a few hours, a day or two. Then observe how they will change too. That's when you're ready to let them go. Then it's time to consider what you will replace that will serve you better.

In my case, it was clear that spending time with Olivia's family and supporting her through this tough time is my #1 priority. Everything else including my work comes second. The expenses incurred like flights and SF rent came last. This clarity then allowed me to configure my mindset, plans and actions accordingly, without regret and minimal worry about what comes next.

The clarity of priorities also meant that I needed to let go of a few projects to make time. This includes postponing the podcast launch and communicating to the Mind Map Map community that I will be slower to respond in the next 2 months.

So my friend, you are not alone in your suffering. It is indeed the universal constant of our human existence, and is also the very thing that bonds us together. Thank you for sharing your pain, and may we heal one another through listening and kindness.”

1st Principles at Work

I often get asked how I apply 1st principles or mental models in daily life. What you read above is an example of that in the personal context.

I’ve broken down my thinking process into a mind map to illustrate how I used seven principles from three sources to adapt to this challenge.

This mind map visualizes a “latticework of mental models” from various sources that helps me deal with sudden bad news.

Why is it important to know where our fundamental principles come from and state which specific models we’re using? Without this knowledge, we 1) can’t stress test the components that make up our understanding of the world, which is a model in itself, and 2) troubleshoot and reconfigure our mental operating system when they fail.

It’s also beautiful to see these principles weave together to form, in Charlie Munger’s words, a “latticework of mental models” that brings greater clarity into our lives.

This mind map is a visual representation of one such latticework.

The 1st level major nodes are the Sources, 2nd level are the Principles, and 3rd level are Tactics or actions I should take. In a linear statement, it would read: “Because [Principle X], therefore I should(n’t) do [Tactic Y].”

Here’s how it’d look (principles bolded):

1. Rilke (a 20th century poet)

   1. Sadness is a great teacher and a sign that we can no longer stay in the same place, therefore I should acknowledge my pain and listen to what it has to say rather than brush it off or suffer through it silently.

   2. Some of our most important questions can only be answered by living them, therefore I shouldn’t rush emotions like grieving.

2. Vipassana (a type of mindfulness meditation)

   1. Everything changes, therefore it’s okay with sit with the pain because it always passes.

   2. When something bad happens to us, there’s two types of suffering that arises: 1) the immediate pain of what happened to us, and 2) the emotional pain of fear, anger, jealousy etc. The latter is within my control, therefore I shouldn’t hold on to these emotions past their natural maturity.

3. Stoicism (an Ancient Greek/Roman philosophy and precursor to modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

   1. Nothing can touch the mind unless I let it, therefore I’m consciously choosing to sit with the sadness and anger.

   2. We can choose our own mindset, therefore once the negative emotions inevitably cool off, I should replace it with something that’s more conducive to my current circumstances.

   3. I must understand the true nature of something in order to deal with it effectively and not be overwhelmed, therefore:

      1. I must acknowledge that my near future (1-3 months) will have a high degree of uncertainty and potential emotional turmoil, which means:

         1. I should build in a 20-30% buffer into my schedule and expectations to account for changes to happen (this is one of Nassim Taleb’s Antifragile tactics).

         2. This means identifying my priorities and letting go of lower priority items instead of desperately holding on to them and stressing me out.

These principles have guided me through numerous challenges over the years, and I hope that they might be of assistance to you too. In this way, a latticework of personal mental models becomes a net of resilience that catches us during difficult moments and lifts us back up to the surface where we can breathe and see clearly.

Make the most of your mind maps

Thanks for reading this article. If you found it useful, you can get a new mind map in your inbox every week. Epiphany is your dose of structured thinking and ordered chaos.