Reframe Directed Negativity

“Take care that you never treat the misanthropic (someone who hates others) as they treat mankind.”

- Marcus Aurelius in Meditations.

Thanks to our MMN member Bruno for surfacing this golden quote. It reminds me that other people’s negative actions and words are a reflection of themselves.

Don’t let them infect us.

I’ve found this to be true now that I’ve put myself on the web and encounter the occasional nasty comment without merit. I don’t take it personally anymore because I recognize it as the projection of their internal turmoil.

I wrote in How to Keep Your Cool:

“Our misery comes from feelings of craving and aversion, that attachment to such feelings causes us much agitation.

In this instance, the tailgater is suffering from his attachment of getting to his destination (i.e. craving) as fast as possible, therefore any delay or obstacle was unacceptable. By aggressively cutting me off, he would only be fueling his own misery, for I wouldn’t be the only obstacle that stands in his way - there are literally hundreds of miles to go with many things slowing him that are outside of his control. By the time he reaches his destination, he’ll be in a state of agitation, which bleeds into other aspects of life.

This realization made it nearly impossible for me to be angry at those who acted aggressively towards me. Instead, by recognizing the nature of their misery, I could only feel sorry for them. This emotional space then allowed a form of compassion to take place, one that hoped they will get home safely without endangering anyone else.”

The aggressors are often the most miserable.